If it weren’t for pot, who would eat Corn Flakes?

Kellogg–the maker of tasty cereals which are slowly killing our entire nation in a sea of obesity–has decided not to renew their contract with Michael Phelps after this picture and this admission occupied the media this week.

Phelps had appeared on boxes of Frosted Flakes and Corn Flakes as part of his contract with the Michigan-based company.  In the story from AP, the cereal giant says Phelps’ pot smoking is “not consistent with the image of Kellogg.”

marijuana

I’m not exactly sure what the purveyor of Pop Tarts, Fruit Loops, Cheez-Its, and the entire Keebler line of snacks thinks their image is but, I assure you, marijuana is not a threat to it.  The creation of a snack line supposedly made by elves living in a tree is a veritable testament to stoner brilliance.  Why I can’t think of anything more stoney, except for maybe little frosted dough cakes you can warm in a toaster.

If I ate cereal I would organize a boycott of Kellogg on principle.  (Or just forego the whole damned industry and make my own marijuana-based cereals!)
Knowing the tastiness of their products, I am sure stoners won’t get around to it.  BUT, my dear partakers of the sacred smoke!  The next time you are mixing Corn Flakes, peanut butter, and those left over chocolate chips you found in the pantry, remember what that sugary grain dealer thinks of you.

Remember what?

Read more LATINO LIKE ME.

12 thoughts on “If it weren’t for pot, who would eat Corn Flakes?

  1. Meanwhile, A-Rod’s steroid use seems to have caused barely a blip. This country needs to get some consistency in its substances policy. Preferably by dropping *all* the laws (or at least most) and spending that money on something else.

  2. Yummmy stoner food. Yeah you said it right dude, man, brah, munchies are tops and I’m sure if you took out little kids Kellogg would realize who supports them!

  3. I just want to say I love the “Who will eat the Corn Flakes?” article. Fantastic.

  4. Hi,

    I am the art director for Martha’s Vineyard Magazine in Massachusetts. We are publishing an article on use on our Island. In a google search, I came across your marijuana photo that goes with If it wern’t for Pot, who would eat Corn Flakes? OIs it your image and if so would you be willing to let us publish your image? We could pay you about $75 for a one time use in the magazine? If it is not, would you kindly let us know who took the photo so we could contact them?

    Best,

    Alley Moore

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