Kellogg–the maker of tasty cereals which are slowly killing our entire nation in a sea of obesity–has decided not to renew their contract with Michael Phelps after this picture and this admission occupied the media this week.
Phelps had appeared on boxes of Frosted Flakes and Corn Flakes as part of his contract with the Michigan-based company. In the story from AP, the cereal giant says Phelps’ pot smoking is “not consistent with the image of Kellogg.”
I’m not exactly sure what the purveyor of Pop Tarts, Fruit Loops, Cheez-Its, and the entire Keebler line of snacks thinks their image is but, I assure you, marijuana is not a threat to it. The creation of a snack line supposedly made by elves living in a tree is a veritable testament to stoner brilliance. Why I can’t think of anything more stoney, except for maybe little frosted dough cakes you can warm in a toaster.
If I ate cereal I would organize a boycott of Kellogg on principle. (Or just forego the whole damned industry and make my own marijuana-based cereals!)
Knowing the tastiness of their products, I am sure stoners won’t get around to it. BUT, my dear partakers of the sacred smoke! The next time you are mixing Corn Flakes, peanut butter, and those left over chocolate chips you found in the pantry, remember what that sugary grain dealer thinks of you.