Friday Five: July 1983

1983 was one of those years. Michael Jackson was huge and the way everyone talked about it, he was a global cultural phenomenon like none before him. With Michael being Michael, everything else about music felt a little bigger. It felt like we were all looking for the things that were bigger than just hits. We were looking for magic.

Or maybe there wasn’t anything special about it. Maybe it was just the fact that I was 11 and the things that are big when you’re 11 make a big imprint on you. Michael made the world of music into something bigger than an 11 year-old could wrap his head around.

Let’s change it up this week. Instead of five songs from the top five of July 1983, here are five songs from the Billboard Hot 100 for the week ending July 23, 1983——the end of the fourth week of July. There’s a lot of that year’s hits on the charts that month, lots of songs I could write about. I’m going to stick to ones I liked or that had an impact on me.

5. “Beat It” by Michael Jackson
By July this former #1 song (it ruled the charts for three weeks in April and May) only came in at #53. No matter. As part of the Thriller album that made Michael into Michael, it still has never gone away. “Billie Jean” was the bigger hit record, but “Beat It” was the more interesting video——with its street gang subplot——and more interesting song——with Michael going rock and guitar work by the master himself, Eddie Van Halen.

4. “1999” by Prince
It was released in fall 1982 and had made it to #44 on the Hot 100 by Christmas. Re-released in 1983, the song reached #12 in July, its peak position on the charts. The album 1999 was Prince’s first with his band the Revolution and, in many ways, it was the start of the cultural wonder that he would become. While I would always be a bigger fan of his earlier album Dirty Mind, 1999 was the kind of new sound that was undeniable and mesmerizing. The song is iconic, as is the video. For me, it was the start of a “Highlander”-like (“there can be only one”) contest between Michael and Prince. You had to be either. But there was no way not to love both.

3. “Rock of Ages” by Def Leppard
It came in at #22 in July, a few steps shy of its peak position. It was the song my friends and I loved from the album Pyromania, produced by the legendary rock guru Mutt Lange. 1983 was the year of Ozzy’s Bark at the Moon, Iron Maiden’s Piece of Mind, Metal Health by Quiet Riot, and Mötley Crüe’s Shout at the Devil. I was awash in rock and new metal. “Rock of Ages” was a song some people made fun of (and still do).
It was a song I felt I didn’t need to justify. I just liked it. And, after all, it’s better to burn out than to fade away!

2. “Let’s Dance” by David Bowie
David Bowie was a legend to many before I ever heard of him. It’s still an odd thing to me that he became a known figure to me in 1983 because he was experiencing his biggest commercial success with his album Let’s Dance. I’d later become semi-obsessed with his Ziggy Stardust work but at 11 his Nile Roger’s produced pop sounded pretty damn good. This title song peaked at #1 in May for only one week and dropped to #67 by the end of July, far behind his climbing single “China Girl.” The vocals here still grab me in ways the other tracks never did. (The closing guitar was by Stevie Ray Vaughan.)

1.”Puttin’ on the Ritz” by Taco
There are so many good songs that came out in 1983 and this is not one of them. But I was only 11 so my taste can be forgiven. This cover of a 1927 song written by Irving Berlin (once famously recorded by Fred Astaire) hit the #33 spot in July on its way to #4 two months later. Performed and interpreted by an Indonesian-born Dutch singer named Taco, the song was a hit with everyone I knew. We joked about the singer’s name in my house, me and my friends would break dance to the song (it was not a typical break dance song), and it was one of those collective musical experiences of the time. The synthpop sound and simple video were made for the early MTV era. I don’t remember any controversy from the use of blackface in the original video, although it was apparently edited out of later versions.

Friday Five: June-July 1982

With all that’s been going on, I’ve been a little off my game with my Friday Five posts. Let’s play some catch up and focus in on five top five hits from June-July 1982.

It was a big year for me. I turned 10 years old in May 1982 and that school year——with the help of my parents, who drove me to the recycling center——I started recycling newspaper. That made me enough money to buy two things that year: a brand-new Atari 5200 that summer and, in the early part of the year, a portable Toshiba radio with a built-in cassette deck.

That Toshiba might be one of the most important things I ever bought. I had already joined Colombia House, a “record club” where you got about 12 albums for one penny in exchange for agreeing to buy another five or so at “full price.” With my new Toshiba my preference switched from vinyl to cassette tapes.

I also started making tapes of my favorite songs recorded from the radio. That was the best thing about my Toshiba and the reason I most wanted to buy it. Before I got it, I had to sit there listening to one or more stations non-stop just hoping that my favorite song would come on. With my Toshiba, I started recording those songs as they came on, giving me the ability to listen to them whenever I wanted.

It was a big time for me. I knew what I liked and what I liked also started to change with both my record club membership and the hits of the time. Most of these songs were on at least one of my homemade cassette tapes.

5. “Ebony and Ivory” by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
In some ways time hasn’t been as kind to this hit as you’d expect. Despite the fact that it’s recorded by two musical legends and sat atop the Billboard Hot 100 for seven weeks between May and June 1982, it’s not a song that gets much replay on “oldies” radio today. I think some of that is about the message of the song, something that seems a little trite and basic to our present ears. The sentiment——rooted in a kind of optimistic and uncomplicated idea of race racial oppression, and whiteness——doesn’t hold up well. Maybe the same can be said for the sound. The synthetic melody feels like 1982, and not always in a good way. That said, it was a massive hit record for two major musical figures. To give you some perspective, it was Paul’s biggest hit record of his post-Beatles career and, even without that qualifier, it was his second biggest hit of all time, second only to the juggernaut of “Hey Jude.” I suppose that enough makes it deserve some recognition. For me, in 1982 there was no musical artist for whom I had more reverence and respect than the great Stevie Wonder. He made it legit for me.

4. “Don’t You Want Me Baby” by the Human League
When “Ebony and Ivory” was ruling the pop charts, this synthpop song broke into the top ten. By the end of June it peaked at #2 before hitting the top spot for three weeks in July. None of that captures the fullness of its popularity. It was the biggest single of the year on the UK charts and one of the break through songs in the US for the electronic sound that came to characterize the new wave pop of the 80s. It was also always on the radio. As a kid, I remember liking it but also finding it weird and different, from the lyrics to the sound.

3. “Rosanna” by Toto
Toto might be one of the most famous “studio bands” in history. The guys knew their craft well and made their mark as a studio musicians on a number of other people’s albums. By 1978, they had formed as their own band. 1982 was their peak year. Their album Toto IV was their biggest ever, catapulted to success on the heels of two chart toppers (including this single). Some of the guys were among a group of musicians who played on Michael Jackson’s Thriller, and so this was a big year for them for other reasons, too. I was an okay fan of this hit, which peaked at #2 in June and July, kept out of the top spot by the #5 and #1 song on this week’s list. But I wasn’t a huge fan of it. My appreciation grew with time. When drummer Jeff Porcaro died in 1992 (he was only 38), the stream of drummers who sang his praises elevated my appreciation of the song. Porcaro knew what he was doing, and he was skilled at doing it. While the song hasn’t had the renaissance of their other hit “Africa” it’s a great rock song, with a killer beat, and appealing vocal work by Bobby Kimball and Steve Lukather. It won the 1982 Grammy for record of the year.

2. “Hurts So Good” by John Cougar
I didn’t have to try and record this song from the radio. It was the first vinyl album I bought at full price for my Columbia House record club. I don’t remember why I decided to buy the album, but over the summer of 1982 it grew on me. John Cougar had a sound I liked and his lyrics——sentimental and filled with character and imagery——was made of the stuff I would later become obsessed with via writers like John Prine, Tom Waits, and Townes Van Zandt. The song peaked at #2 on the Hot 100; his follow-up single “Jack and Diane” hit the top spot later that fall.

1. “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor
If there was a song I bought my Toshiba radio for, it was this hit by Survivor. I recorded this song from radio play more times than any other in a quest to get the full song without any voice interruption from the DJ. It wasn’t too hard that summer, since the song was ubiquitous. It was the song from the movie Rocky III, which my 10-year-old self thought just might be the best movie ever made. I saw the movie in May when it was released, and my obsession with the song started immediately after. I’d sing it at the top of my lungs though, to this day, I’m not sure about half of the lyrics. It was the band’s biggest hit. It reigned at #1 for six weeks starting in July and going into August. I still think of Sylvester Stallone and Mr. T every time I hear it. The opening guitar work might just be the musical equivalent of testosterone.

Keep On Keepin’ On

I had a follow-up appointment today. My last one ended with me being admitted back into the ICU. After today’s appointment, I went to lunch with my family and then took a nap in my own bed. I think we can call this one a win.

I’m doing well. The swelling is getting better every day and the doctors were as pleased with my healing as I was. My pain is pretty much non-existent right now beyond the occasional headache, which is also good. I am sleeping better with each day, too, which is an important part of the process. Sleeping has also pretty much always been one of my best skills, so it’s nice to know I still got it.

So things are good and moving forward. I’m not back to normal, of course. I’m still really tired. I still need to watch out about lifting heavy things or straining myself. But all that should keep getting easier and better with time and rest.

This is mostly over but it’s also the start of a new normal for me. I’m going to be getting MRIs for the rest of my life. I may have to get radiation if the tumor comes back. There’s a lot of possibilities ahead of us but they’re all better than what we just faced.

So for now, we’ll just keep on keeping on.

Set Backs and Updates

I’m still doing well but I do want to say this: brain tumors suck.

During my follow-up appointment on July 3 the doctors decided to admit me to the ICU again to drain fluid from my face. In their estimation, the post-op swelling was reaching problematic proportions. My face was swelling with cerebrospinal fluid (or CSF), which is the stuff that our spine and brain both live in. The presence of that fluid makes it hard for my face to heal from surgery and so it had to go.

The way they got rid of the excess fluid was by installing a drain in my back, kinda like tapping the end of the CSF system. The installation hurt about as much as you would imagine. Nobody wants a needle put in their back, let alone a plastic tube. In this whole process of brain surgery the pain and discomfort I felt when they installed the drain was the worst thing I’ve felt.

There’s still a lot of good stuff to keep in mind. I’m alive and I am still happy to be alive. It amazes me that I live in a time where I had a brain tumor and they were able to remove it while keeping me alive. Also, my swelling is way better. The drain worked and I have that to be grateful for, too.

The downside? I just got home after 11 days locked up in a hospital with a drain in my back. While it worked and saved my life (and is allowing me now to heal from surgery) 11 days away from my wife and kids is one of the worst things I’ve had to endure.

But I’m home now, basking in the glow of my family. I’m resting and sleeping well. I feel great. My pain is mostly gone, the swelling is disappearing, and I feel more like myself everyday. I feel better about the road ahead, too.

But——just in case you were wondering——brain tumors still suck.

Thanks for the love, the prayers/thoughts, and the palpable feeling of community. I know I’ve got a lot of people pulling for me and I’ve felt it every step of the way. I couldn’t be more grateful for it. If there’s a silver lining in all this, that’s certainly it.

My uninvited growth

Here’s where I need to start. I feel very loved and lucky and I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for at this very moment in my life. I am alive and I am feeling better each and every day. When it come’s down to it, that’s all that really matters.

On June 18, 2019 I had a brain tumor. Today I do not.

I first noticed what turned out to be my brain tumor about 7 years ago. I was training for my second LA Marathon when I noticed a slight swelling on the right temple of my face. The swelling was only faintly noticeable, aligned with my right temple muscle running from the forehead just to the top of my right cheek. The swelling was pretty consistent. It didn’t come and go but it was even and did change slightly in size depending what I ate that day or on what my training pattern might have been. But none of it was all that profoundly different.

Over the years it grew more and more and changed less frequently. I pointed it out to my wife and started to get a little concerned. Finally, about 3 and 1/2 years ago, I went to my doctor to have him take a look at it. I was hoping for an MRI but he said it was an overdeveloped temple muscle caused by teeth grinding and chewing in my sleep. He recommended I see my dentist for a mouthpiece, which I did.

My dentist made the mouthpiece but insisted there was no dental evidence I was grinding my teeth at night or biting down hard. I still wore the mouthpiece for three some years and, sure enough, it did nothing. Not only didn’t the swelling shrink but the mass continued to visibly grow. As it grew I became more aware and even self-conscious about it as something that was “other” or foreign to me.

I grew more concerned. I noticed it more and I was sure people in my life (and work life) noticed it, too. After all, I work with a bunch of kids who notice the little things, like slight growths or the kinds of imperfections we associate with age that we don’t see all that often in our youth.

Last fall my ophthalmologist saw it and he finally ordered an MRI. Turned out it wasn’t the muscle but an actual foreign growth. I called it my UFG——my uninvited fucking growth. My UFG concerned my ophthalmologist and the radiologist who read my film. It looked like a tumor, one that had some origin in my brain. Luckily, one of my best friends is also a radiologist and I had him take a look at my MRI before I had any formal sit-down with a doctor to talk about next steps. It didn’t look good, but it also didn’t look like we had a 100% sure reading on what it was we were looking at.

Since UFG was on the side of my face we could do a biopsy of him and start to get some sense of what he was before cutting into my skull. Last January that biopsy told us UFG was not cancer but it also identified it as a meningioma. For those that don’t know a meningioma is a tumor that grows from the lining of the brain. That’s right: I had a brain tumor but one that decided to gentrify my face. It started in my brain but grew through the skull and took over that temple muscle before spreading to through the cranium.

It took about two months for us to learn I had a tumor and to get test results telling us it wasn’t a fatal or aggressive form of cancer. That two months was a hard time for Melinda (my wife) and me. We had to confront the possibility of the worst, which is not a pretty thing when you have 3 little ones. We survived it, sanity and love in tact. We also had the benefit of medical professionals moving us toward a medical solution for my UFG.

That solution was surgical. I had a team of surgeons, one to focus on the outer cranium parts of my UFG and a neurosurgeon to focus on the UFG origin story on the lining of my brain. Luckily, since UFG had been such a colonizer, I had no real “traditional” symptoms of a brain tumor. No headaches or no compromised brain functions. I had an unsightly bump that kind of gave me a sore jaw and swollen pressure on the right side of my face, but all that’s not too bad considering the cause.

I entered Kaiser’s Kramer Medical Center in Anaheim on June 17 to get it taken out. It was a several step process. External UFG gentrified my cheek and jaw. He was close to a cluster of blood vessels and incompatible with our goal of minimizing bleeding and the prospect of a transfusion. So step one was going up my main artery like an angioplasty in order to inject some dye in those vessels and give them a little embolism. This would make them more visible (and hence more avoidable) while also making them less bloody when they were cut.

Phase two was extraction. My neurosurgeon’s plan (he is a pretty amazing guy, the kind you’d expect to do such a job) was to saw into my skull and remove UFG from my brain lining. That’s where UFG started. He was like a tail along my right lobe heading through a patch of skull that ended in my temporal muscle. The plan was to remove the “tail” and, to be safe, cut away about 2cm of brain lining surrounding it. That would also entail removing the patch of skull UFG passed through since, in passage, it became tumorized, too. The plan was to replace the patch of skull with titanium.

When Dr. Amazing got in there he learned that UFG had been more cranially aggressive than originally thought. First, a 2cm lining removal took us too close to a vital (life or death) artery near where the lobes meet, so he kept a conservative distance to make sure I stayed alive (yeah!!) which also may have left some UFG at the cellular level. UFG also turned out to be doing more than resting on my lining. He was also squatting on my brain. He was an easy removal but still, fucker was living rent free on my brain.

The other part of extraction was lead by my head/neck surgeon, a 30 year veteran of the meningioma game. His plan was to cut in to my head, pull down my face like a John Woo movie, and remove UFG from my temporal muscle and cheek area. We expected the UFG already colonized my temporal muscle and so its removal there was to be expected. He’d rebuild the destroyed and colonized muscle with titanium mesh so it would balance cosmetically with my left temple. The MRI suggested it was well beneath the cheek bone too, so the plan was to remove that sliver of bone temporarily to safely extract UFG and then rebolt the cheek bone into my skull.

When he got in there he learned UFG had been pretty aggressive there too. It had eaten up my temporal muscle and did much the same to my cheek bone. So a minor plan alteration was called for and the kind doctor replaced my cheek bone with titanium instead of reinserting the tumorized bone.

A week ago, all this happened. I came out of surgery alive and with a pretty good prognosis. They said the best case scenario for me would be about 3-5 days in the hospital and then about 1-2 months of rest and recovery to let the trauma of surgery return my swollen face back to normal. Sure enough, I came home three days after surgery. I have a series of follow-up appointments that will inform where we go from here in terms of treatment but, the most important thing I have is the love and concern and friendship of a grip of people, all of whom have helped my recovery with kind notes, plants and flowers, food, and consistent thoughts. The best part has been feeling——on a daily basis——how this is more than an individual act of healing and, instead, a nurturing group process.

So thanks. I thank you if you’re one of those people who care about me and who’s shared that caring in any kind of way. I thank you for the road ahead, too, one that’s going to take time and lots more of the love I’m using now over the weeks and months ahead. I feel lucky to have you in my life and the feeling is 100% mutual.

Take care.