John McCain Knows What it Means to be Mexican

Guess what? I’m going to register my Chicanito self as a Republican and vote for John McCain because, simply put, he gets me.

When asked about how he intended to woo Latinos this fall, McCain said he had a much easier task than did his opponent.

“Hispanic culture is an integral part of my state: Spanish was spoken in Arizona before English was,” McCain said. “So I understand the issues, I understand the patriotism, I understand all of the issues that affect Hispanic Latino voters, and I was very happy in the primaries to receive an overwhelming majority of the Hispanic votes in those primaries because they know me and they know me well. Senator Obama has little or no encounters with their issues.”

See? Juan…lo siento, John McCain is a Senator from a State where a lot of other Mexicans live and have lived for a long time. That makes him an expert, you see. And just like Señor McCain tells us, if you’re thinking that Barack Obama knows you–just because he spent his adult life working on inner-city, urban issues affecting communities of color (like poverty, gangs, drugs, discrimination)–well, you’re wrong. People of color have very little in common in this nation.

Man I feel better. It’s like I’m lighter, more free. You see, I always thought that for a politician to support immoral and poorly planned war–like Vietnam or the current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan–was an equally unjust abuse of Latinos. After all, most of the infantry men and women fighting and dying in these wars are poor, rural/urban young people, people who are disproportionately Latino. But now I don’t.

And I always thought that support for free trade and outsourcing, and busting unions and fighting minimum wage laws, and for bailing out S & L crooks was bad for working people, bad for poor people, and bad for most Latino people. But I guess not.

And I used to think that supporting immigration reform just so a bunch of your state’s big business people could use, objectify, and economically abuse your people was a bad thing. But, well, I mean, I guess…

What a minute! I’ve lived in California my whole damn life and I don’t know anything about surfing, or the way almonds are grown, of even where California cheese comes from. And come to think of it, John McCain has almost never supported the issues I believe are fundamental toward the political, economic, and social equality of Mexican and other Latinos in this nation.

Ah, man, you got me! You pesky little viejito, you fooled me this time! I actually thought you were serio, man. Okay, I get it now. Bet you can’t fool me again.

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